“Tired as a mother” has to be one of the most accurately founded statements in the history of time.
Y’all, this mama is tired.
I could give you a laundry list of reasons of why my under eye concealer is now the MVP of my make-up bag…and then I could give you my actual laundry list… and hugs and high fives and post-it notes with affirmations of awesomeness if you would actually do my laundry. (Show of hands if folding laundry is the bane of your existence!!! Hate, Hate, LOATHE!)
In the midst of balancing the chaos of motherhood and life, I received a bouquet of flowers the other day with a sweet note from my in-laws. It was a little pre-celebration, a pre-game if you will, to my first Mother’s Day as a Mama. Now I’m feeling all sentimental.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the never-ending laundry list of work and home that I wanted to take some intentional time to reflect on these past seven months of being a parent.
So in honor of Mother’s Day, I’m going to pen a few reflections, notes, and things I love about being a mama.
Motherhood has taught me selflessness.
I feel like the mom bun is the solidarity symbol of selfless motherhood. I don’t know how to describe the selflessness you learn once you have a child other than by reiterating a phone conversation I had with a friend. It went something like,
“Before we had a kid we used to spend our evenings…well, I could tell you all the things we used to do to occupy our evenings, but the point is we don’t do those things anymore.”
We used to do the things, but now we don’t do the things.
The things we do now revolve around taking care of this slobbery poop-machine, and the most insane thing is that there is a such profound joy in doing them.
I love it when River wakes up early and disrupts my morning routine because that means I get to hold him before I leave for work. Some mornings I’ll arrive a little late to the office because I wanted to change his diaper. And when I change his diaper I get to kiss his feet which makes him smile. That smile. His laugh. They fuel my days.
I used to do the things, but now I get to raise a human. It is the biggest blessing.
Motherhood has given me superpowers.
With all that being said, I’m often asked, “How do you manage to exist on so little sleep?”
Y’all…it’s the superpowers. This girl likes to sleep, and I honestly would have told you that I could not have functioned under these circumstances. But being a parent makes you a super human. Baby woke up six times last night? No worries, I’ll still get that report done. Kiddo is snotty and fussy and teething? I’ll still rock that presentation.
Your body and mind do the incredible and you just make things happen.
Parenthood has strengthened our marriage
I know that having a kid can put a huge strain on a marriage, but having River has made us so much stronger as a couple. Our friendship has grown deeper through this un-glamorous phase of marriage, and we love to laugh through it all. We share every disgusting, poopy tidbit, and we choose to focus on the hilarity of it all.
During the hard times, we’ve become servant-partners. When I’m at a breaking point, I watch as Adam takes on the burden of my responsibilities so that I have room to breathe. He wakes up earlier to make breakfast and leaves coffee on the counter, waiting for me when I get out of the shower.
Y’all, whenever I’m in a bad mood he just reminds of this bath time story:
Normally we bathe Riv together, but on a day where I was exhausted and overwhelmed, Adam took on the bulk of the parenting responsibilities. Unfortunately, he relayed:
“Nik, I took his diaper off not realizing there was poop in it and a turd fell into my lap.”
I was dead. Laughing so hard. It makes me laugh. Every. Single. Time.
Motherhood has given me confidence.
I could write an entire series on body issues, shame, and negative self- image, but I’ll simply state that: those issues, I had them.
However, along with other Motherhood super powers, being a mom has instilled me with an incredible confidence. Since I’ve struggled with confidence pretty much my whole life, this new attribute has surprised me, but it has been such a welcome change. I know this is different for every woman, but pregnancy and childbirth have absolutely empowered me.
I know a lot of women feel pressured to look perfect after having a baby, and I couldn’t roll my eyes any harder without their falling out of my head.
Do I have a pooch now? Heck yea I do! Have I made time for ab exercises to get rid of that pooch? Nope. I’m way too tired.
But you guys- I GREW A HUMAN!
It was awesome. I created life in my belly. If you want to judge my post-baby body, go ahead. Just know that I think you’re annoying and you’re dead to me.
Dramatic much? Who cares.
Mamas are amazing!
I seriously just want to scream from the rooftops that we are amazing, powerful goddesses with the ability to grow and sustain little humans, and that this is incredibly underrated.
So all you mamas out there- I see you! And I love you! You’re doing awesome! High Fives! Exclamation marks!
I hope you feel celebrated this Mother’s Day, you beautiful, amazing, goddess, you.
You deserve it.